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inspirational quotes, Stories to tell
In 2012, I'm taking a different approach to the ol' New Year's resolution. It's not something concrete, as mine tend to be (write 200,000 words, do yoga twice a week, etc.). I've settled on something a little different, but far more practical.

For those of you who follow my blog regularly (an act that I truly appreciate, BTW), you know that I’ve made some changes in the last few months. The biggest change is that I quit my teaching gig to give more attention to other areas of my life, especially writing. I have to admit that I’m not always a risk-taker, and leaving a paying job for a non-paying one was certainly a risk.

It’s part of a new approach I’m taking to my life, one I should have taken a while ago. So please, use my tale as a cautionary one, if you’d like, and learn from my mistakes.

I don’t know why, but somewhere along the way, I developed a negative pattern: the inability to say no. Not "no" to drugs or bad ideas. But "no" to opportunities, to good ideas, to exciting chances. It doesn’t sound like a negative thing. How could drive, determination, and ambition be bad? How could saying yes to opportunities be negative? I learned the answer: when doing so pushes you further away from the path you want to take; when trying to do everything leads you to be overworked, uncreative, and burnt out. All work and no play really does make Janelle a dull girl.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a tendency to overreach. Like Icarus, who flew too close to the sun and plummeted into the ocean, I’ve tended to push myself too far. I stretched myself too thin, wanting to do and be everything: a PR gal, an editor, a writer, a blogger, a teacher, and so on. I don’t think even Wonder Woman could pull that off.

As a result, my health began to suffer. I worked nonstop from morning until my head hit the pillow at night. I was doing things I liked, but I was too busy and worn out to actually enjoy them. And thus, I worked myself to the point that I burnt out.

I spent the holiday season in gorgeous Hilton Head Island, S.C., combing the beaches, eating at great restaurants, snuggling up with my hubby, flipping through magazines (my dirty little addiction), and getting some much-needed R&R. And after toying with a number of New Year’s resolutions, I came to this conclusion: My resolution? Treat myself better. Say no. No to overdoing it. No to pushing myself to go jogging when I’m already exhausted. No to working around the clock. I don’t have to accept every opportunity that comes my way. So I’m going to say yes to what I really want out of life: a writing life, a life well-lived, happiness, art and creativity, time with family and friends.

Writing books isn’t just what I want to do; it’s my purpose, my calling, and my dharma. I won’t be truly happy unless I make room for storytelling. This blog is part of that journey, because storytelling isn’t something we do in solitude. It’s a collective journey. We have to listen to ourselves, our characters, and each other.

So 2012 is the year of drawing the line, a year of boundaries. I’m not working at 10 o’clock at night. I’m not working through lunch. I’m not neglecting myself, whether that means nurturing my body or my creativity. So a word to the wise: Just because you can push yourself further doesn’t mean you should. Save the cheetah speed for the big deadlines, not the everyday.

Ultimately, New Year’s resolutions only work if they are part of our larger journey. We have to weave our resolution into our overarching goals. And my resolution is to make time for me—mind, body, and soul. So when you make your resolution, whatever it may be, make sure you're thinking about what you really want, what you really need in life. What's most important to you? As my father-in-law recently reminded me, we only get one life. We can choose how we live it. Make a resolution that suits you and where you want to be and go.

Author Louise Behiel offers a list of questions that can help you tailor your resolution and make it a perfect fit this year. Check out her tips here. And Martha Beck, life coach, author, and frequent contributor to O, The Oprah Magazine, gives her advice for how to finally keep that resolution.

Do you have a New Year’s Resolution? What are your goals for 2012? And how does your resolution fit into the bigger picture of your life and your journey?

Originally posted at http://janellemadigan.com. Comments welcome at either location.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
kaishin108
Jan. 5th, 2012 01:17 am (UTC)
New Years Resolution
Sounds like you are being cautiously smart about your New Years Resolution. My hat goes off to you. I am being pretty cautious too. I came up with a list of ten bullet points here for mine. I decide to keep it private for less pressure on myself but your post here made me think of my #6: Think more before I commit to things, weigh out the situation. Ahh yes the boundaries, how much can we do and still have time to re-charge and revitalize not just our body but our soul? I had to pull back in 1997 from how much I was doing because I started to be physically ill from it, how wonderful you are doing this now :) ~elena
janellemadigan
Jan. 7th, 2012 10:57 pm (UTC)
Re: New Years Resolution
Good luck on your list of goals. Happy New Year (belated)!
naomi_jay
Jan. 5th, 2012 10:14 am (UTC)
Sounds like a great resolution, and I wish you luck!

My goals for 2012 are pretty simple: be happier and relax more. That encompasses a lot of other stuff, but I think if I keep those two as my top priorities, other things will fall into line...hopefully!
janellemadigan
Jan. 7th, 2012 10:57 pm (UTC)
Those are perfect goals. I think all else in life should revolve around them. If we're not enjoying the journey, what's the point? ;)
readthisandweep
Jan. 5th, 2012 02:52 pm (UTC)
I don't make resolutions. One thing I'd like to aim for is to read at least one of the books written by each of the writers I follow, & who follow me, on Twitter. And their blogs. I've discovered some excellent ones this year.

The problem with reading so many good writing blogs is they keep me from my work. :)
readthisandweep
Jan. 5th, 2012 02:52 pm (UTC)
(That ought to have been 'last' year.)
janellemadigan
Jan. 7th, 2012 11:00 pm (UTC)
Yes, reading other writers' blogs is a wonderful distraction, but also a good one. It allows me to come back to the page with so much new knowledge and perspective. I'm trying to keep my writing goals modest but measurable this year.
jennygordon
Jan. 6th, 2012 02:34 pm (UTC)
"Just because you can push yourself further doesn’t mean you should."

So, so true. It's something I've learned rather too late and my health has suffered as as result of me not learning it sooner.

Here's to a healthy balance in 2012!
janellemadigan
Jan. 7th, 2012 11:00 pm (UTC)
We're all still learning, I suppose. Good luck!
edgyauthor
Jan. 14th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
Good luck setting boundaries for yourself this year and learning to relax from some of that "cheetah speed"! :)

I have the exact opposite problem as you. I say "no" to opportunities too easily. The pessimist in me never believes I can handle them. I have to learn to take the plunge sometimes so I can grow as a person and not let fear own me. (Like querying again for the first time in years. That's one of my goals for the year, but already I'm thinking, "Hmm, I probably wouldn't be able to handle a publishing career on the offchance I got one. Let's not risk it." I really need to shake this mindset so I don't get in my own way for my goals!)
janellemadigan
Jan. 17th, 2012 05:11 pm (UTC)
I say go for it. Life is a balancing act sometimes, and it's tough to find the right combination. I don't think we should be afraid to get a little messy. In 2012, query your heart out!
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )